My Collegian Wisdom

January is as January does, folks. BAM! Hit you with my collegian wisdom. Life is as YOU do, however. This is especially applied to such areas as perhaps, YOUR STUDIES. Yes, this is a GLUE YOUR FACE TO THE BOOKS blog. I figure this is on a college preparation website and I should attribute some learnings that relate to said preparations. If bards require the education of a college to achieve a sunny disposition and the ability to play two stupid songs, we in this day and age require a college education for our professed careers. We do not solve problems with a battle axe to the face anymore… unfortunately.

The first and seemingly most frightening step on this pilgrimage to enlightenment is … ACT/SAT TESTS! Gasp! Ah! Duh, duh, duh! The horror! Take it away, take it away! Cue crying overtly feminine woman. Given, they are NOT THAT BAD, they are still extremely important. I remember studying for mine… I shuddered just now. Really. It was weird. Oh! And there was just spontaneous thunder…! And coffins opened..? I did not even realize I had coffins in here…

However, I was blessed with three things:
1. Teachers that consistently trained me in the ACT/SAT arts.
2. A natural talent for test-taking and an aptitude for the subjects tested.
3. The Force.

While you may not possess an armed educator who happily deploys power attacks into your ACT/SAT arsenal, a knack for strategically placed bubble-filling, or a unusually high Midichlorian count, you can still succeed. You may not get an awesome franchise and an asthmatic cyborg father, but hey, you can’t have everything, right?

We all have our Test-Taking Yoda. That annoying little bugger that perches on your shoulders and whispers pretty little idioms into your ears. So, listen. LISTEN. LISTEN. LISTEN. Are we clear on that? You are surrounded by teachers, adults, college kids, friends, websites, etc. They can help you discover the “hidden” contents of the Golden Test. They can assist you in the careful preparations necessary and share their glorious wisdom in regards to the Test. Obviously, they cannot share the entirety of the Test with you, or else they would have to kill you. But they can HELP YOU PREPARE AND FEEL PREPARED!

It is truly mind-numbing that we can learn from our teachers, is it not? Hmm? Nod your head so I know you understand me. Good. Moving on.

These tests matter, yes. They matter a lot. I mean… A LOT. So work your butt off to do well, because you can and because you should. However, they don’t matter as much as you think they do. If you do poorly, you can still get into a great college. You can still succeed. You can still open that gourmet pot-pie restaurant you have dreamed about since you were six and you could probably get Judd Nelson to be your spokesperson.. no one knows who that is, do they? Well, Mrs. Nelson does and she is sure proud of Baby Judd.

Which brings me to my next segway: la familia. I hope you are as fortunate as I and have a family that supports your very admirable desire to attend college and to excel. If not, there are others who do. They are your Academic Family and they want you to succeed. They will support you and they share your powers of discernment regarding good and bad academic decisions. Yippee for smart choices, eh? Like I mentioned before, don’t do drugs… or join the Dark Side. Contrary to popular belief they do not, as it seems, have cookies. They do, however, have some lovely British chaps on that side so there is probably good tea.

Let me sum this up in three easy to remember points:
1. STUDY or be STUDIED! .. Does not make sense but scares you into studying, don’t it? STUDY.
2. DO OR DO NOT! THERE IS NO TRY! .. Don’t do this halfway, guys. That lulls you into a false sense of learnedness. DO IT.
3. FORGIVE AND FORGET! .. Work hard. Take your test and when it is over LEAVE IT ALONE! Do not hold on to the idea that you failed, even if you did. Breathe, be thankful, release it. Do better next time. Do those things, and you will feel like this guy: